Okay, I have to say it because it's been bothering me. It's rant time. That's right. It's on now. :)
First off, I don't think people should talk in the bathroom except maybe when washing their. hands. I'm somewhat willing to talk when taking a leak (maybe, but only when using a urinal), but when one or more of the people talking are on the can, talking is absolutely not allowed in any way shape or form. Call me a bathroom facist, but that's the way it is.
First off, I don't think people should talk in the bathroom except maybe when washing their. hands. I'm somewhat willing to talk when taking a leak (maybe, but only when using a urinal), but when one or more of the people talking are on the can, talking is absolutely not allowed in any way shape or form. Call me a bathroom facist, but that's the way it is.
So my boss is a bathroom talker. I really like my boss, don't get me wrong, but if you're on the can or he's on the can and you're both in the bathroom (a public bathroom for our floor mind you), he'll just talk to you. Unacceptable. As if that wasn't weird enough, let's say random Joe Smiley comes into the bathroom and starts taking a whizz, you would think this would keep him from talking. Nope, sure doesn't. I usually grunt in response (which is fully permissible under men's room law 171.13) and hope we can either all get to the sinks where limited conversation is allowed or get out of the bathroom entirely to have a full conversation.
I don't know where the bathroom etiquette rules are written, but I know that violates at least 3 of them. It also has a chance of incurring a number of other infractions, but those are more of a grey area. We'll have to get a judges opinion on those...although in New Jersey he's likely to rule in favor of bathroom talkers. Bastard.
Now don't take this the wrong way and think that I dislike my boss. I am opposed to nearly all bathroom talking in the men's room by anyone while doing your business, whatever it may be. There are only very certain times that bathroom talking is at all okay and they generally fall under:
1. You're both at the sink washing you're hands. A little bit of conversation here is allowed, but try not to let it get out of hand. Good things to talk about here are generally weather, the current condition of the bathroom, or maybe picking up a conversation where you left it before entering the bathroom.
2. Both guys are taking a leak. I still don't really agree with this, but hey, it's bound to happen sooner or later. If this happens to you, generally the best response is to grunt and try to avoid saying anything at least until getting to the sink. This is a little more okay when both guys are exceedingly drunk, but should be restricted to things like talking about that hot chick who you saw outside. Talking about chicks is generally manly enough to overcome the fact that you're both standing only feet away from each other with your zippers down.
Times bathroom talking is just not allowed:
1. One or more of the guys in the conversation is on the can. How is that not weird? Seriously. This is a bad situation. Either try not to respond or if you're the one on the can, finish up, wash your hands and get out. Just...say...no.
2. Striking up conversation with someone you don't know, or they strike up conversation with you. Holy crap is this weird. I mean wow. This has happened only once or twice in my life but man is that awkward. This is definitely a case to either ignore the person or grunt and move on as quickly as possible. Single-word responses in this situation could also work.
3. Now some of you might be thinking, "What if we're on a double-date or at a party or something and we need to talk and that's how we get away." Okay dude, I know there's probably only one of you out there who thinks this, but I feel that it's my obligation to tell you. Guys don't go to the bathroom together. Guy's end up in the bathroom either by coincidence or because you're both about to leave the building or something like that. If you really need to talk to your pal (knock some sense into him or whatever) there are a lot of other places to do it than the bathroom. So yeah, not allowed.
I have tried to put some thought into how to stop or discourage men's room talking, but have not had much success beyond the grunt, or ignoring it and simply saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were talking to me." The other effective method is to halt the conversation where you left off before heading into the bathroom and pick it back up when both people are at the sinks or out of the bathroom.
You too, can be affected by this uncomfortable men's room situation. Please help to save a life (or at least minutes of one), by discouraging men's room talk in bathrooms near you...
Now don't take this the wrong way and think that I dislike my boss. I am opposed to nearly all bathroom talking in the men's room by anyone while doing your business, whatever it may be. There are only very certain times that bathroom talking is at all okay and they generally fall under:
1. You're both at the sink washing you're hands. A little bit of conversation here is allowed, but try not to let it get out of hand. Good things to talk about here are generally weather, the current condition of the bathroom, or maybe picking up a conversation where you left it before entering the bathroom.
2. Both guys are taking a leak. I still don't really agree with this, but hey, it's bound to happen sooner or later. If this happens to you, generally the best response is to grunt and try to avoid saying anything at least until getting to the sink. This is a little more okay when both guys are exceedingly drunk, but should be restricted to things like talking about that hot chick who you saw outside. Talking about chicks is generally manly enough to overcome the fact that you're both standing only feet away from each other with your zippers down.
Times bathroom talking is just not allowed:
1. One or more of the guys in the conversation is on the can. How is that not weird? Seriously. This is a bad situation. Either try not to respond or if you're the one on the can, finish up, wash your hands and get out. Just...say...no.
2. Striking up conversation with someone you don't know, or they strike up conversation with you. Holy crap is this weird. I mean wow. This has happened only once or twice in my life but man is that awkward. This is definitely a case to either ignore the person or grunt and move on as quickly as possible. Single-word responses in this situation could also work.
3. Now some of you might be thinking, "What if we're on a double-date or at a party or something and we need to talk and that's how we get away." Okay dude, I know there's probably only one of you out there who thinks this, but I feel that it's my obligation to tell you. Guys don't go to the bathroom together. Guy's end up in the bathroom either by coincidence or because you're both about to leave the building or something like that. If you really need to talk to your pal (knock some sense into him or whatever) there are a lot of other places to do it than the bathroom. So yeah, not allowed.
I have tried to put some thought into how to stop or discourage men's room talking, but have not had much success beyond the grunt, or ignoring it and simply saying, "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were talking to me." The other effective method is to halt the conversation where you left off before heading into the bathroom and pick it back up when both people are at the sinks or out of the bathroom.
You too, can be affected by this uncomfortable men's room situation. Please help to save a life (or at least minutes of one), by discouraging men's room talk in bathrooms near you...
3 comments:
I personally don't mind if it's a "second conference room" of sorts (if there are no strangers in there), especially if a conversation is being continued. However, I find people who talk on their cell phones while in a public bathroom (either at a urinal or when taking a BM), much worse.
You're lucky you're not a girl. I have had to come to terms with the fact that there is an 80% chance that the person in the stall next to me will talk to me . . . be it my friend or a stranger. I used to think it was weird, but I've given up on fighting it. It is a lost cause . . . .
And what happens if you're in the bathroom taking a two-sie and you realize you have no toilet paper? Wouldn't you be forced to ask someone else in the bathroom for assistance? We may as well create a Monte Carlo simulator to cover all of the "what if" situations for proper bathroom conversation etiquette. Hehehe.
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